The Book
by DjDangerLove
Summary: Sequel to Dream A Little Me in Your Dreams. A collection of stories from the new life of the Burkes. De-aged Neal.
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT: For purposes of this story, Ellen's death occurred before Neal was turned into a little boy, but for right now Neal doesn't know about Sam (he may factor in later). Also, I can't promise that this will be updated regularly because of college, but I will do my best for you guys!**

* * *

**The Book: Chapter One **

The dim golden glow of the nightlight showed Peter the safe path from the door to Neal's bed. Clear of any toys that would make noise if he accidentally kicked them or hurt his sock covered feet if he stepped on them, Peter lightly crossed the room, holding his sleeping boy in his arms. With a learned grace and a year and a half of practice, the agent gently laid the four year old in his bed and pulled the covers up tightly around the flannel onesied covered body. Peter's hands found their way through the sleeping boy's unruly hair, before his fingers traced the dried tear stains on pink cheeks. He let out an exhausted sigh, wiped at the tear marks with his thumb and stood from the bed. With one last look at his boy, he left the room and headed down stairs.

* * *

Peter sat at the dining room table sipping on a beer. His second of the night if he was counting. He felt his heart thumping in his chest and decided he wasn't. He took another long swig. The glass bottle hit the table with a clank causing Satchmo's head to raise from the floor and look up at his owner.

"It's alright, Satchmo. Everything's fine now."

As he spoke, he realized he was trying to convince himself more than the dog. He ran his hands through his hair before burying his face in them. The afternoon's events flooded his mind, but before they could play out he shook his head and stood from the table. Walking over to the bookshelf, he grabbed some paper and a pen. He sat back down at the table and began writing.

* * *

A few hours earlier...

Peter walked into the living room, his head buried in a work file, with the intent of sitting on the couch but something stuck him on the bottom of the foot and he jumped back spitting out a string of curses as the bottom of his heel throbbed with pain. He dropped the file on the ground and began rubbing his sore foot as he looked for the source. He spotted the damned thing an inch away from his foot. It was a little, red horizontal lego at the end of a trail. He followed the row of plastic pieces until it burst into an organized mess all over the living room floor to surround Neal and his masterpiece of a dinosaur that was half the size of Satchmo.

"Neal." Peter tried to keep his voice level as frustration rolled off of him. "Do you...do you think maybe you could keep your legos in a more...designated space instead of...all over the place?"

Neal turned his head for the first time since the agent had entered the room. Peter saw a burst of light in the boy's blue orbs as Neal did his best to keep from laughing at Peter's pain. The boy nodded.

"Yeah? Thanks, Bud." Peter replied, cautiously placing his foot back on the ground and picking up his file while Neal crawled around the floor and pushed his legos into one big pile.

Peter sat down on the couch and studied his son. Neal hadn't spoken today and if Neal was any other boy and Peter was any other father, the agent would have been extremely worried. However, Neal was Neal, and although he was now the four year old son of Peter and Elizabeth Burke after never changing back from some bizarre curse that Neal and Mozzie had stumbled upon, Neal could still remember his memories of being an adult and sometimes trying to process that in a four year old mind was difficult. The Burke's had grown accustom to their son's speechless days and just tried to interact with him as much as possible on those occasions. Peter and Elizabeth had talked about taking Neal to a doctor at first, but knew that if the little boy started to talk about watching the love of his life blow up in an airplane Neal would be ripped from their custody and put into a less than welcoming place. So instead, they decided to deal with it the best they could.

"That's a big dinosaur. If you build it any bigger, you might make Satchmo jealous." Peter chuckled lightly as he watched his son start building another masterpiece. The agent sank back into the couch just as the phone began to ring. Hoping it was his wife, he answered it on the first ring.

"Hello?...Oh, hey Diana...no, no I was just hoping to talk to El...yeah I read through the file. Hold on, let me go in the kitchen."

Peter took one last glance at Neal quietly building a family of dinosaurs before going into the kitchen to go over the case with Diana.

* * *

After a few minutes, Peter hung up the phone and returned to the living room only to find a sight that made his chest hurt worse than a bullet to the heart. Neal's legos were still in the floor, but Neal was no where to be seen. The agent wasn't one to expect the worst in situations such as these because the boy had a habit of wandering off into other parts of the house and sometimes playing hide and go seek with the dog, but only twice out of a year and a half had the front door been open like it was now. Both those incidents turned out scaring the hell out of Peter.

The first incident was the night they found Neal as a three year old little boy in their house and he had gotten scared and tried to go back to June's, almost being run over by taxi if not for Peter. The second had come a few months after Neal had officially become Neal Burke. They had found him in the cemetery at Ellen's grave thanks to Mozzie.

Peter ran out of the house as fast as his legs would carry him.

Once he was standing on the sidewalk he looked up and down. At first he saw nothing except a spinning version of New York, but after an attempted deep breath, he was able to see a bit more clearly and make the small frame of his little boy walking up the sidewalk about a block from the house.

"Neal!"

Peter took off running after the toddler who didn't even turn around at the sound of his name. The agent made it to the boy in seconds that felt like minutes and all but gently picked him up into his arms and squeezed him tight.

"Jesus Christ, Neal! What were you thinking? You know better than that! What were you doing?"

Neal wiggled himself out of Peter's death-grip enough to look up at the agent with watery blue eyes. His bottom lip trembling under the pressure of his teeth. "I...I wanted..."

"What, Neal? What is it?" Peter urged impatiently as he still tried to calm his racing heart.

"I want...to see Ellen." The last part was said so quietly that if Peter hadn't partially been expecting the answer he wouldn't of understood.

Unable to keep his sense of panic and anger at the whole situation in check, Peter directed all of it at the small boy in his arms. "That's when you ask to go somewhere, Neal! You don't just go out the front door and walk the streets of New York on your own! You're four years old for crying out loud! Anything could happen to you!"

Neal had the overwhelming desire to bury himself deep down into Peter's arms and chest, but knew he couldn't when the man was so angry at him. Instead, bit his lip harder to keep from crying and wriggled in the hold trying to get down. When his attempts were cut short, Neal pounded tiny fists into the man's chest. "Let me down! Let me go!"

Neal's piercing screams had Peter snapping back to reality and drawing his mind out of his anger. He glanced around to make sure no one was calling in a kidnapping at the sight of Neal trying to get free and pulled Neal's head back to his chest with his hand before rubbing the boy's back gently as he stood there swaying slowly back and forth.

Neal sobs were muffled, but never died down in level of intensity. "I want Ellen! I want...I want..El! I want 'Lizabef! I want Mommy!" Neal's breath hitched as he cried harder into Peter's chest, his small frame shaking with each cry. "Daddy!"

Peter buried his face into Neal's soft, dark curls and closed his eyes against the sadness that gathered in them at hearing his baby cry. He slowly began walking back towards the house. "I know, Buddy. I know. Daddy's here. Okay? It's alright. You're alright."

* * *

Back in the house, Peter went upstairs to Neal's bedroom and sat down in the rocking chair with Satchmo sitting close by, worrying in his own way why his best friend was so upset. Neal's cries hadn't let up in the slightest, even as Peter rocked them and spoke softly to him. After a few minutes, Peter stood once more and jogged the boy up and down in a feeble attempt to calm Neal down. It still didn't work.

Peter sighed and laid Neal down on the edge of the bed on his back. Propping himself up with one hand by Neal's side on the mattress, Peter leaned over the crying boy and ran his hand through the toddler's hair.

"Hey. Hey. Come on, Buddy. Calm down, huh?"

Peter gently rubbed the boy's stomach and let a soft smile spread across his weary face when his ears were blessed with soft cries and more hitching breaths rather than wails.

"Ah, see. It's alright. Everything's fine. No need to be so upset, kiddo."

Peter stared down into tearful blue eyes looking up at him and wiped away the stray tears that leaked down his boy's face. He smiled a bit deeper and wiped a few more from the corners. Neal's lip trembled and every once in a while a sob would escape him, but other than that the room was blessed in silence.

Peter spoke very softly so the peacefulness wouldn't be cut. "I'm glad you quit crying. I have something really important to tell you. Now that you're not crying, you wanna know what it is?"

Neal sniffled while nodding his head and grabbed at Peter's hand that was still on his belly with his two tiny ones.

"Okay, but it is really serious." Peter stated, narrowing his eyes just a bit in warning. Neal nodded again.

"Alright...two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted."

Peter watched the little boy blink at him a moment before the joke sank in and the fairly new father could only smile as his little boy tried to keep from grinning. Peter rubbed his hand on Neal's belly again while letting out a small chuckle. "Huh? Come on, I know you want to laugh."

Neal bit his lip hard, but the smile was already creeping onto his face.

"I know you can do better than that!" Peter coaxed him gently until Neal's boyish giggles were heard throughout the room. Peter chuckled along with him, feeling some weight of the situation leave his chest. He sat down next to Neal on the bed and pulled the boy back onto his lap.

The toddler wiped at his eyes as he leaned against Peter. "When will Mommy be home?"

"She will be back Sunday afternoon, Bud. You know that event she is doing in the Hamptons? It's a big deal for her. But just as a side note between you and me, I think she is bringing you back a surprise. You can't tell her I told you, though. Swears it?"

"Weally?" Neal sat up a bit straighter in excitement. Peter nodded.

"But you gotta promise me you won't tell her I told you."

"Swears it."

The agent ruffled the boy's hair. "Good. Now, for the heavy stuff." He looked away as the boy gave him puppy dog eyes. "What you did today was dangerous and irresponsible. You know better and I know you know better."

"Daddy, I-" Neal tried to protest but Peter wouldn't listen.

"The fact that you did one thing you know you're never supposed to do, makes me very disappointed."

"But Daddy..."

"Neal...you scared me to death today. Do you understand that?"

"Dad-"

"Do you understand?"

"Yes!" Neal wailed. "I'm sowwy. I'm so so sowwy. I just..."

"Just what?"

"I didn't want you to be mad at me because I missed Ellen." Neal whispered burying his face under Peter's chin.

Peter sighed and hugged Neal closer to him. "I would never be mad at you because you miss someone you loved. You know what makes me upset? My little boy being upset."

He felt Neal's giggle against his neck, rather than heard it. "Are you laughing at me?" Neal's head shook back and forth against his neck, though he was. "I can't believe it. Here I am trying to rid myself of the cowboy up phrase and you're making fun of my attempts."

Neal sat back and grinned up at Peter. "No. No, you did good. I can appweciate you not saying cowboy up."

"Oh, well thanks. Now, you'll be going to bed early, but how about we do something until then, huh?"

"Kay." Neal replied a little less enthusiastic since his bedtime was being moved up. "What?"

"Do you...still want to go... to the cemetery?"

Neal seemed to think about it a minute, before nodding his head.

* * *

The tip of Peter's pen rested on the piece of paper in front of him as his hand struggled to keep up with the memories. He had just finished writing Neal's name at the top with a little comma when the sound of lightly padded footsteps reached his ears. Looking up from his letter, he saw his little boy standing a few feet away fisting his eyes.

"Hey, buddy." Peter's greeted very softly. "Couldn't sleep?"

The boy who had been put to bed two hours earlier for part of his punishment when they had returned from visiting Ellen's grave, nodded and dropped his fists to reveal red-rimmed eyes.

"Come here." Peter motioned and picked the boy up when he had walked over. "Did you have a nightmare?" Neal yawned but shook his head. "No? Then what's the matter sleepyhead?"

"Jus' couldn't sleep."

"Oh. Well, maybe I can be a little lenient on your punishment until tomorrow. We can pretend for a little bit that you didn't disobey while you round up Satchmo and our flashlights while I get the sheets and pillows. What do you say?"

Without so much as a nod, Neal jumped down and ran off while hollering 'Satchymo'.

"I guess that's a yes, then." Peter said to himself as he stood from the table and made his way to the upstairs closet.

Ten minutes later, Peter, Neal and Satchmo were sprawled out in their homemade tent inside the living room. Two flashlights gave off enough light just to see each other as they made shadow puppets and made up stories.

Neal was sandwiched in between Peter and Satchmo and heat from both of them sank into him causing his eyes to droop. Noticing it, the agent turned on his side while putting his arm around the sleepy child. He felt Neal snuggle against his stomach, before Neal said his name. "Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you sing?"

"What do you want me to sing?"

The was a long pause and for a moment Peter thought Neal had fallen asleep.

"Despewado."

The soft request had Peter pulling the boy even closer to him as the memory of him singing to Neal for the first time came to him. "Sure, kiddo."

Peter ran his fingers lightly through Neal's dark hair as he just studied his son's relaxed face as he sang. And as the song says, 'you better let somebody love you', Peter couldn't help but feeling like the luckiest man in the world knowing that his little boy had chosen him and Elizabeth.

Pulling Neal up from the floor and laying the small boy on his chest and stomach, Peter hugged him close while burying his face in Neal's soft curls. "Please don't ever scare me again like you did today."

* * *

Sunday afternoon found Elizabeth walking through the front door of her house into a wrecked living room. Lego dinosaurs were placed around the room along with what appeared to be a wall of pillows to protect the sheet fort in the middle of it all.

"Boys?" She asked cautiously into the silence. Suddenly a head popped out of the fort. "Mommy!"

Neal barreled out of the tent towards Elizabeth who smiled and held out her arms, but the boy never made it to her. Peter came out of no where and grabbed Neal around the waist before throwing him over his shoulder. "Aha! I gotcha!"

"No, Daddy! That's not faiw! It doesn't count." Neal protested while trying to get to Elizabeth. The woman stepped forward and took him from Peter's hold. "Tell him, Mommy!"

"That's right, Peter. I haven't seen my baby in three days, so whatever game you're playing will just have to wait until I catch up on my kisses." She replied, giving the boy in her arms a kiss on the cheek. Neal's face twisted in mock disgust as he wiped the side of his face.

"Icky!" Neal wiggled down out of her hold and ran back into the fort.

"Ohhh, we're playing that game huh?" She questioned, eyeing Peter. "I guess I'll just have to take Peter's side then." El made her way over to the fort, while Peter looked back to the table where his blank piece of paper still sat. He heard Neal shriek, followed by the most beautiful laughter. He could always add to the book later.

Peter entered the fort.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to every one for reading, reviewing or adding this to your lists! Hope you enjoy this next snippet. **

* * *

"Neal?" Peter called as he stepped into the boy's room. The toddler in question wasn't anywhere to be found, but the rustling under the bed had the agent's detective skills on high. He stepped towards the small piece of furniture. "Well, either we have really big rats or somebody is doing a lousy job of hiding." He jerked the bed sheet up quickly to catch the little kid by surprise, but the whole thing backfired. Neal wasn't there. Thankfully, in Peter's mind, neither were the rats. Instead, a motorized turtle spun in circles around a clutter of toys gathered underneath there. The agent reached under the bed and grabbed the turtle to switch it off before standing up.

"Well played, kiddo. Well played. But the longer you stay hidden, the longer your time out is going to be once I find you and you _know _I will eventually find you!" He yelled through the house, his tone just frustrated not angry, yet. He checked the closet which was indeed empty of any kids, before heading to the last room he hadn't checked. He walked into his and El's bedroom.

"Alright, bud. I'll make a deal with you. You come out right now and I'll lessen your time out." Peter was greeted with silence. He sighed. "One. Two. Thr-"

Neal's head popped out from under the bed with a quivering lip. "I don't wanna go!" Like a turtle retreating into it's shell, Neal slid back underneath the bed. Peter ran a hand down his face and silently cursed the fact that Elizabeth got called in last minute to plan an event on the day of Neal's dentist appointment. After calling everybody they trusted with their little boy, even Mozzie though they knew it was a long shot, the very thing Peter didn't want to happen did. He had to call in sick to work to take a very protesting Neal to the dentist.

"Neal. Get out here. Now." Peter's voice might have as well shook the walls of the house. Though it was nothing more than a frustrated mumble, it had Neal shooting out from under the bed and running into Peter. The man bit back a curse as tiny fingers pinched his legs while Neal buried his face into them.

"P'ease don't make me go! I don't like the dentist! I don't like it!"

"Yes. You've made that quiet clear this morning...and the last time you were there according to Elizabeth." Peter pried his son off of him before picking him up and carrying him into the bathroom doing his best to still the squirming toddler.

Peter walked into the bathroom and closed the door making sure to lock it though it would do nothing but slow the toddler down if he did try to escape yet again. He put Neal down in front of the tub and squatted down with a warning eye. "We're only going to try this one more time, Neal. You don't cooperate this time, and I'll let Mommy determine your punishment."

The agent began to unzip the boy's pajamas, trying not to smile while Neal's blue eyes widened as he determined the value of the conditions. Even though Peter was a federal agent and punished people for wrong doings for a living, including the little boy in front of him a few years ago when he had been an adult, Peter found it difficult to punish Neal severely no matter the circumstances and Neal knew that. It was quiet the reversal. Before, El had been the one to give Neal the benefit of the doubt when he did something wrong as an adult, but now it seemed that roles had switched.

Neal put his hands on Peter's shoulders to steady himself while stepping out of his pajamas. "Okay. Baths awe good." The agent nodded before helping Neal out of his nighttime diaper without so much as a look at the small boy. Though the kid was potty trained, they still had a hard time at night when Neal would get nightmares. More often now Neal woke up with a dry one, but on this particular morning it was soaked. Peter turned to throw it in the trash bin and heard a mumbled " 'M sorry" from Neal who hung his head down so low his chin touched his chest. The father turned back around with a kind smile and ruffled Neal's curls. "Nothing to worry about kiddo. Now into the water you go." He held onto the boy's arm as Neal stepped up onto the small stool and threw his leg over the tub followed by the other one. Peter watched him sit down with an intended splash before going to the cabinet and pulling out the baby shampoo and soap. His hand hovered over the bubbles bottle, but this was one of El's suggestions of small punishments so he left it on the shelf and closed the door. He sat down on the closed toilet lid and watched Neal stick his face under the water and blow bubbles. The boy's head came up quickly slinging droplets of water from the ends of his wet hair around the bathroom. Peter rolled his eyes with a chuckle when Neal turned to him with a toothy grin and hair sticking up every which way.

"No bubbles?"

"Do you think you deserve to have bubbles after this morning?"

Peter's only reply was Neal sticking his face back down in the water while splashing his hands down in it beside his face to feel the tiny water bubbles tickle his face. He giggled at the sensation, but the fact that his face was still underwater had not fully registered. He came up spluttering and coughing.

Peter had been expecting it to happen, but he still felt his chest seize up every time it did. He held the soap and shampoo in one hand while the other slapped Neal's back gently, but firmly until the boy could breathe properly again.

"You'd think by now you'd remember to laugh after you raise up instead of the other way around." He jabbed playfully, receiving the sheepish grin he was going for. Peter leaned down and grabbed a washcloth from the bottom cabinet. When he raised back up he was greeted with water to the face from the splash of Neal's rubber shark diving rather harshly into the bathtub. He glared at the boy without any real menace as he wiped the water off with his shirt. "I'm going to have to start wearing one of those ridiculous yellow raincoats in here. This is worse than Sea World."

Neal turned quickly to him with the tail of his toy shark in his mouth as he gnawed on it. Peter quickly stopped him from doing so. "Sea Wowld! Shawky wants to go back!"

"Oh? He does, does he?" Peter inquired, while opening the shampoo bottle. Neal nodded his head. "I guess we will have to try and take him real soon, but only sharks that behave get to go to Sea World. Do you think he behaves well enough to go?"

Neal put Sharky's tail in mouth again and started gnawing while nodding at Peter. Peter eyed him warningly and pulled the toy from Neal's mouth again. "You do? Well, I might need a little more convincing, but I think Sharky is on his way to getting there. Does he need to go to the dentist? He's got a lot of teeth to take care of."

Neal shook his head. "He c'eans them in hewe. Doesn't need to go."

Peter smirked and filled the plastic cup they kept in the tub up with water while guiding Neal's head back. He placed his hand on the boy's forehead to keep the water from running into his eyes and poured it over his dark curls. He placed the cup down on the edge of the tub and picked up the shampoo. "Well he should consider himself unlucky. He won't get a cool prize for going to the dentist."

"Pwize?" Neal perked up as he held out his hands for the shampoo. Peter squirted a small amount in them knowing Neal liked to be able to feel like he was still a little independent.

"Yep. You'll get one when you go. Maybe if you're really good you can bring one back for Sharky, too." Peter replied watching Neal squish his wet, foamy hair for a few minutes before leaning forward to do the actual scrubbing using his traditional explanation that Neal missed a spot. "One day you'll get all of it though." Peter said, though he felt a small pang of sadness for that day but chose to ignore it.

"Alright, kid. Almost done. Now you just gotta wash off." He handed him the wash cloth and squirted some soap out on it. Neal washed his body quickly and grumbled when Peter just as quickly washed him a little bit better.

The agent replaced the shampoo and soap in the cabinet and hung the washcloth on the hook on the wall of the shower while Neal splashed around a little more and played with Sharky. Once he was done cleaning up, he pulled the plug in the tub and let Neal splash until the water was gone.

He watched Neal wobbly stand up in the slick shower out of the corner of his eye while getting Neal's hooded Batman towel out of the closet. He threw the hood over Neal's head and wrapped the rest around his small body before picking him up and carrying him back into his bedroom. He sat Neal down on his bed and ruffled his hair under the hood to get it to dry quicker.

The agent picked up the underwear El had already laid out before she left, along with Neal's outfit for the day, and held them out to the boy. Neal hopped off the bed, keeping his hooded towel on until after he had his underwear pulled up. He grabbed Peter's shoulders once more when the man bent down holding out khaki pants for him to step into. Once they were pulled up, he pulled his hunter green long sleeve shirt over his head and poked his arms through the sleeves.

"Alright, kiddo. Shoes and socks."

Neal fell back on his butt and pulled his socks on and then stuck his feet into his shoes. He fumbled with the laces with a concentrated determination and Peter let him for a few minutes. However, before Neal could feel helpless, let alone embarrassed, Peter aided him in the process, moving slowly so the boy could watch. "You're getting there, buddy. A little more practice. And now, last but not least, brush your teeth and hair."

* * *

Neal stood on the step stool in front of the sink scrubbing his little teeth while Peter stood next to him brushing his own. The agent purposefully took his time knowing that when he spit out his toothpaste, Neal would too. Peter filled up their small paper cups and both of them swished and gargled to rinse their mouth. With one last spit, they were done.

Peter quickly ran a comb through Neal's already dry curls and combed his own hair, before they left the bathroom.

* * *

"Alright, Neal. Ready to go?"

Neal was standing next to him in the living room while he grabbed his keys, but at the sound of the question Neal bolted upstairs. Peter groaned. "Neal!" He quickly cursed being a parent for the two seconds that frustration overtook him and moved to go upstairs, but stopped short when Neal came trotting down the steps holding Mario, the polar bear that Peter had gotten him a while back when this whole thing had started and Neal had to go get stitches. "Oh. You went to get Mario, then?"

Neal hugged the stuffed animal protectively to his chest while walking over to Peter's legs and leaning against them until the man picked him up. Peter lifted him and chucked him under the chin. "Cheer up, kid. It'll be over before you know it and you'll realize you worried for nothing."

* * *

Peter pulled Neal, and Mario, from his car seat and placed him on the ground next to the car while shutting the door and locking the car. The agent went to grab Neal's hand but, the kid latched onto his leg instead so he picked him back up and carried him into the dentist.

Waiting was more of a relief than Peter had anticipated. Neal just sat in the chair next to him with his knees drawn up and arms wrapped around his polar bear while staring at a runny-nosed kid playing with some of the toys in the office. Peter tried not to let his amusement show upon seeing the disgusted look on Neal's face when the other kid wiped his nose with his hand and then touched the toys. He felt Neal lean a little closer to him, and was just about to go get some hand sanitizer for Neal and himself from the bottle on the check-in counter, when a young woman called them back.

When they got to the dentist chair, Neal immediately shrank back into Peter's legs and hid behind them. The agent smiled knowingly at the woman preparing to clean Neal's teeth while picking him up and setting him in the chair. "It's alright, bud. Just relax."

When Peter began to lean away from him, Neal's small hand grabbed two of his fingers to keep him from leaving. Peter pulled the chair in the corner of the room over and sat down, thankful that this dentist's office thought ahead and prepared for fearful kids.

"Okay, sweetie. I'm going to clean your teeth now and I promise to be as quick as possible, but your Dad is going to be right here with you the whole time okay? And if you need me to stop at anytime just squeeze his hand and he'll let me know. Alright? Now, what flavor of toothpaste do you want? Mint or bubblegum?"

"Mint. P'ease."

* * *

Fifteen minutes and two moments of Neal panicking later, the dentist placed a dinosaur sticker on his shirt. "You did such a good job today, Neal." She turned to Peter. "Significantly better than his first visit. Now, Neal. Do any of your teeth hurt?"

"Huwt? Like when Daddy's teeth huwt when he eats ice cweam?"

"Uhh..." Peter awkwardly laughed. "I don't think that's what she meant, kiddo."

The dentist raised an eyebrow at him before turning her attention back to Neal. "That's exactly what I mean." Neal shook his head. "Great. Why don't you pick out a prize from that treasure chest over there and since you were so brave today, pick out two while I talk to your Dad."

Neal beamed and hopped off the chair to make his way over to the box of prizes.

The dentist turned to Peter who smiled uncomfortably. "Mr. Burke, I believe Neal isn't the only one who needed a check-up today."

* * *

Elizabeth quickly walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to greet her two favorite boys as they came through the front door.

"There's my brave little boy!" She greeted holding her arms out and squatting down to pick up the boy who barreled into her. "How was the dentist?"

"Scawy." He stated hugging her neck before leaning back and looking at her with a sheepish grin. He fingered a lock of her hair laying on her shoulder. "But not as scawy as last time. Guess what!"

"What?" She chuckled at his excitement as she noticed for the first time Peter's long expression.

"Daddy has to go to the dentist!"

She tried to school her confusion as she glanced between her boy and her husband. "He does?"

"Yes," Peter answered sourly, "because someone told the dentist my tooth hurts when I eat ice cream."

"Well, thank goodness our little boy is looking out for you, Peter." She replied with a smile before kissing Neal's temple and setting him down. "Dinner will be ready soon, but I think Satchmo could use a playmate for a few minutes. Why don't you go see if you can find him?"

Peter went over and hugged his wife while they watched their boy run through the house hollering for the dog. They shared a kiss. "So, when do you go to the dentist?"

"Next week." He grumbled.

"Does Neal know?"

"When I'm going?"

"That you hate the dentist."

"No and you're not going to tell him."

* * *

"Time for bed, kiddo." Peter stated as he walked into Neal's bedroom to find the boy laying in the middle of his floor playing sleepily with his toys. Peter gathered some of them up and placed them in the toy box before going over to the closet and pulling out some pajamas and a nighttime diaper.

Neal stood up from the floor and sluggishly walked over to Peter who sat down on the bed and helped him out of his clothes mainly because Neal was too tired to do so by himself. When it came to putting on the diaper, Neal scrunched his face up, but didn't protest like normal. Instead, he looked up at Peter while the man zipped up his fleece onesie and with a tired voice he asked, "Daddy?".

"Yeah, bud?" Peter picked him up and laid him down in bed before pulling the covers up over him.

"Awe you mad?"

Peter furrowed his brow. "Mad? Why would you think that?"

"Because I told the dentist about youw tooth."

Peter chuckled and patted the covers over Neal's belly. "No, I'm not mad."

"But you don't want to go?"

"Let's just say Daddy doesn't like going. Not because he's afraid, because he knows there's nothing to be scared of just...he doesn't like it."

"Oh. I...I could go with you."

Peter smiled down at him, clearly amused yet touched. "You'd do that for me?"

Neal nodded. "You went with me."

"Of course, I did. And as much as I appreciate the offer, taking my little boy to a place he doesn't like wouldn't make me very comfortable."

Neal blinked up at him before wiggling down under the covers for a minute and popping back up. He sat up and held his hand out to Peter. The agent took whatever it was Neal was offering him in his own hand before he realized it was the bouncy ball Neal had picked as his prize from the dentist earlier.

"Why are you giving me this?"

"Fow when you'we at the dentist." Neal replied behind a yawn as if that explained everything. Peter smiled down at him and guided him back to lay down once more. He pulled the covers up to his shoulders and ruffled the dark curls, before letting Neal take his hand in both of his. For some reason that Peter and Elizabeth had yet to figure out, Neal liked tracing the lines on Peter's palm while he was tucked in.

"I'm proud of you for being so brave today at the dentist." The agent softly boasted while he felt Neal's tiny finger trace his palm. He waited until Neal grabbed his fingers and curled them down into a fist indicating that he was done doing whatever it was the boy did before brushing the hair off Neal's forehead and kissing him there. "Goodnight, Buddy. I love you. Mommy will be up here to say goodnight in a minute."

Neal nodded in response before curling up on his side already half asleep. "Night, Daddy. Love you."

Peter stood from the bed and went to turn the light off. After flipping the switch he accidentally dropped the bouncy ball Neal had given him and silently cursed as he heard it consistently bounce against the hardwood floor. By the light of the nightlight, he crawled around the floor until he found the ball by Neal's bed. Grabbing it and putting it in his pocket, he raised up on his knees and peered over in the bed to find a sight that had his throat tightening.

He watched over Neal's back as the boy's finger traced the same pattern that Peter had felt on his palm for countless nights on his own tiny palm. Peter swallowed the lump in his throat and fought to find his voice.

"Neal?" He whispered, half so he wouldn't startle the kid and half because that's all he could manage. The boy turned over to face him with half lidded eyes as he fisted them. "Hmm?"

"Wh-what were you doing? On your palm?"

Neal blinked sluggishly at him before grabbing his hand and turning it so that the palm faced upwards. The boy laid his hand out next to Peter's to show him his palm and in the luminance of the nightlight, for the first time, Peter realized the lines on Neal's palm, though on a much smaller scale, made the same pattern that his did.

Even though it was nothing special, three simple lines on the palms of their hands, Peter found that lump in his throat rising once more, because now he understood why every night when he tucked Neal into bed, or every time he held Neal after a nightmare or he had gotten hurt, Neal traced the lines on Peter's hand. Because even though Neal knew Peter wasn't his biological father, the boy had found something that they both shared. For ever how small and insignificant it was, it had apparently meant the world to Neal.

Peter was brought out of his thoughts by a small cough from Neal. He looked up at the boy and could only smile while his brain searched for words. Coming up empty, he took Neal's small hand in his and traced the lines before curling the boy's fingers inward and kissing the small fist. He laid Neal's hand on the bed and upon seeing the smile creeping onto the toddler's face he knew his actions had spoken so much louder than words.

* * *

One Week Later...

Peter found himself sitting in the dentist's chair while the dentist cleaned his teeth. The tools were taken from his mouth as the assistant sucked his saliva from the corners of his mouth with the little vacuum tube.

"Are you doing alright?" The dentist asked him once more while preparing to begin to finish the filling for the cavity he had.

Peter tensed, but stuck his hand in the front pocket of his pants and fingered the bouncy ball Neal had given him. He looked at the dentist and nodded. He was perfectly fine.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or added this story to your lists! It means so much to see people enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it. And a special thanks to all those who have followed since Dream a Little Me in Your Dreams! :) **

**Sorry you have had to wait so long for an update! My fall break came up and I took full advantage of the momentary freedom by going camping! But here's the next chapter, and as always I hope you enjoy it! (Even though I'm not entirely pleased with this one, but I promise better ones are to come!) **

* * *

"Satchymo! Come find me!" Neal yelled as his tiny sneakered feet pounded up the stairs. He could hear the dog's collar jingle from downstairs and knew he had to hurry to find a new hiding spot before his furry friend came barreling up the stairs after him. The sound of the dog's toenails scratching against the floor as he rounded the bookcase in the living room caused Neal to dart into Peter and Elizabeth's bedroom. He paused momentarily in front of the bed when he realized he had already hidden himself underneath there earlier. He looked around frantically for a new place and caught sight of their bathroom. He heard Satchmo reach the second story before darting to his newly found hiding place. Knowing he would get in trouble for hiding in the cabinets based on a past experience, he quickly decided to wiggle in between the cabinet and the toilet. He scooted back and drew his legs up to his chest and tried not to giggle as he saw the dog dive under the bed with a curious nose. He curled up as far as he could when the sound of Satchmo's collar got louder indicating he was close to being found. Suddenly, the dog's head popped around the corner of the doorframe and the toddler let out a shriek of surprise. Satchmo barked back and ran over with a loving, slobbery tongue happy to find his little friend.

"Satchymo! Stop it." Neal giggled as he tried to squirm away from the dog's kisses. He wiggled with all his might between the toilet and cabinet to get up on to his feet. He succeeded but knocked over the trashcan in the process. Satchmo stood still and panted while watching the boy turn the empty can back up right.

"Oops." Neal shrugged his shoulders at Satchmo and took a step forwards to leave but stopped short when he stepped on something with a small pop. He moved his foot slowly off the object and looked down to see what he had stepped on. He stared at the object for a few seconds trying to determine what it was before his memories of being an adult filled in the confusion for him. Lying on the ground at his feet was a pregnancy test.

His head almost spun and he reached out with his small hand to grab the cabinet. He couldn't move and even if his brain could have cooperated with his limbs it wouldn't have done much good because they were practically numb. He would never know how long he stood there in a horrified daze, but Elizabeth's voice coming from downstairs broke him from it sometime later.

"Neal! Come on, Sweetheart! We're leaving!"

Neal swallowed thickly and shook his head. There was no way he was actually going to touch the thing, so he kicked it back beside the trashcan just underneath the cabinet and ran out of the bathroom with Satchmo following closely behind.

* * *

_Why?_

That question swirled in Neal's head as he watched the city whiz by the vehicle's window from his car seat as Elizabeth drove to the grocery store.

_Why do they want another kid? Why do they need another kid? Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough? Why am I not enough? Is it because I'm not really theirs?_

* * *

Elizabeth kept glancing back at her boy in the rearview mirror. He hadn't said a word since they had left the house and he had what appeared to be a neutral expression on his face, but something was swimming around in that brain of his and leaking down into his eyes. She just didn't know what.

"Neal?" A few seconds passed and nothing happened. She tried again. "Neal?"

The boy continued to look out the window as if he were the only one in the car. She pressed the brakes as the next traffic light turned yellow and when she came to a complete stop at the red, she turned around enough to face him. "Baby?"

Neal's head snapped around quickly and he stared at her with a weird look before blinking rapidly a few times. "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

She noticed him swallow rather thickly and silently prayed his throat wasn't hurting. He grinned at her, but not big enough to make his tiny dimples show, while nodding his head. Elizabeth was anything but convinced, but the car behind her blew their horn indicating that the light had turned green and they were annoyed she hadn't moved.

She nodded and smiled at Neal in the rearview mirror, before driving through the intersection.

* * *

For the remainder of the car ride, Neal made a list in his head of things he could do differently, things that he could change about himself to become the perfect kid that Elizabeth and Peter were looking for. At the top of his list was silence. Daddy, or Peter, was always calling him a chatter box and Mommy, or Elizabeth, was always agreeing. He could be quiet. It would be hard for him, he decided, but it was worth it. He would do anything not to lose his second chance at a real family even if it meant letting a cat take his tongue.

* * *

Elizabeth pushed the buggy down one of the isles in the grocery store, trying her best to school her concern. Neal had been silent since the intersection and even as he sat in the seat of the buggy, he just sat there like a doll. All of his usual energy that would make itself known through wiggling, squirming and swinging his legs back and forth as they dangled from the shopping cart was nowhere in sight. Neal just sat there with his hands in his laps and his blue eyes blankly staring at the items on the shelf as they went by.

She threw in a box of crackers and continued through the store. She walked passed the dessert isle knowing she had nothing on her list that would require her to go down that particular one, but as she eyed her unusual acting son an idea came to her and she backed up and turned the buggy down the isle.

"So...I thought about making a special dessert for dinner tonight." She tried to keep a casual tone in her voice and could only hope she succeed because Neal's face remained blank. "Yeah, I thought about making pistachio gelato. What do you think?"

Neal looked up at her with the same neutral expression as if he could care less and just shrugged his small shoulders. She let her jaw drop. Usually the boy begged her to make it at least once a week and now that she was finally going to give in, he seemed unfazed. She let her shoulders slack before touching the child's forehead. "Sweetie, do you not feel well?"

"I feel fine, Mom." She couldn't help but let her face twist at the sound of Neal just calling her 'Mom'. It was always 'Mommy'. "Oh...kay... Neal." She grabbed what she needed for the dessert and went to get the next thing on her list.

* * *

Neal could feel his stomach flip flop in a good way at the sound of gelato, but he played it off. He didn't want to come off as needy or ask for anything. _Maybe if I don't need anything, they won't need another kid, _He thought to himself. He was a little surprised to hear Elizabeth ask him if he felt okay. He felt ashamed afterwards, one for being surprised because Elizabeth had always took care of him and two for making her concerned. He tried to grin at her though he knew it wasn't much. "I'm fine, Mom-" He cut himself off because as the word rolled off his tongue he wanted to spit it out. Suddenly he saw some other snot-nosed kid calling her 'Mommy' while she cuddled him in his favorite blanket.

He just tried to take deep breaths as he nibbled on his bottom lip that threatened to wobble.

* * *

"Do you want anything, baby?" Elizabeth asked her little boy as she marked the last item off her list. He shook his head. "Are you sure? No snacks? No juice? Not even some candy? I'll even let you have it on the ride home." She tried to bargain. She didn't care if he wanted the biggest bag of chocolate. She'd buy him anything just to get him to _want something. _He shook his head again. She was almost at her wits' end.

Sighing, Elizabeth squatted down so she was eye level with Neal. "Honey, are you sure you're okay?" He nodded. "Nothing's wrong?" He shook his head. "Alright, Neal."

She didn't believe him for a second, but there wasn't really anything she could do in the middle of the grocery store so El stood back up and gently rubbed her hand up and down Neal's back, more to comfort herself than anything, as she headed to the check out.

* * *

The ride home was the same as the ride to the store and when they got home, Neal disappeared up the stairs to his bedroom to play while Elizabeth put away the groceries. Minutes later she was ready to start preparing dinner so it would be finished when Peter got home from work and they could all sit down for a family dinner. She got out the ingredients to make homemade pizza, something Neal loved to make almost as much as he loved to eat, before walking to the base of the stairs.

"Neal..." She was going to ask him if he wanted to help, but based on his earlier behavior she thought it best to kindly command him to help her instead. "Come down and help me with dinner. We're going to make pizza." On any other normal day, Neal would've been halfway to the kitchen by now but it had just taken a minute for him to appear at the top of the staircase. She smiled up at him and held out her hand for him to take once he descended the stairs. Slowly, but eventually his small hand took hers and she led him to the kitchen.

El had sat Neal up on the counter next to the mixing bowl so he could help make the dough which always caused the kitchen to become a shade whiter from all the misplaced flour. However, Neal was being very precise and clean.

"Look at you! Where did these new cooking skills come from? Usually you look like a ghost 'cause you're covered in so much flour, but I don't think you could take a bath and be any cleaner." She lightly teased as she mixed the dough in her hands.

"Guess I'm jus' getting bettew." He replied with a shrug of his shoulders. El smiled weakly at him with a nod of her head while spreading out the dough in a circle.

"Why don't you spread that out some more while I get the sauce?"

El waited until Neal started to spread it before turning around to grab the pizza sauce on the counter. When she turned back around, she barely caught sight of Neal resting his small hand in her larger handprint in the dough, but the boy quickly removed it and she didn't bring it up.

* * *

Peter walked through the front door of his home with a relieved sigh and a delighted sniff as the smell of pizza filled his nose. He pulled off his jacket and suit coat and hung them on the rack beside the door, before walking into the kitchen to see his two favorite people.

"Hey, Buddy!" He greeted the little boy who was walking towards him purely by coincidence he found out because Neal suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and stared at him with an expression he couldn't quite place. "What're you doing, kiddo?"

Neal blinked at him before grinning softly and walking towards him. The agent reached down to hug the kid and found himself just pulling the toddler into his leg since small arms didn't hug him back. He ruffled the kid's hair and let him go, watching while he trotted upstairs. He turned a confused and concerned eye towards his wife.

"What's with him?"

He felt his gut twist when Elizabeth walked over to him with a frown and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back and didn't let go until El pulled away first a few seconds later. "El?"

"I have no idea. He was fine all day, playing with Satchmo and running around. Then when we left to go to the store he just...started acting so strange."

"How so?" He asked, holding his wife at arms length.

She ran a hand through her hair. "Well... he's maybe said all of ten words since we left the house. He doesn't have any energy. I...I thought maybe he was sick, you know, coming down with something, but he says he feels fine and he's not warm to indicate a fever. And...and at the store...he didn't ask for anything, didn't want for anything. I even told him he could eat candy on the way home, anything he wanted and he turned it down! I don't know what's wrong with him, Peter!" Elizabeth leaned into her husband's embrace again trying to regain a sense of calmness.

"Honey, it's ok. I'm sure he's fine. Everybody has off days... especially kids." He tried to reassure her. "If he's not better by tomorrow we will take him to the doctor, alright?"

"We?" She asked hopeful.

Peter nodded. "I'll call work in the morning if he's not back to his usual self and we will both take care of our son."

"I love you." Elizabeth replied before kissing him.

"I love you more."

* * *

Dinner had been uneventful up until dessert. Neal sat there silently while Peter and Elizabeth made small talk about things the little boy could chime in on if he had wanted to, but apparently he didn't. The parents were just relieved that he had ate his food, not all of it, but the little boy rarely cleaned his plate anyway.

Peter had cleared the dishes away and set out small dessert plates on the table while Elizabeth got the gelato out of the freezer. Peter glanced over at Neal while they waited on El to return and leaned his elbows on the table.

"Hey, kid." He waited until Neal was looking at him to continue. "Your mom tells me that you haven't been yourself today. You okay?"

Neal just nodded before dropping his eyes back down to the table.

"You sure? Mom's pretty worried about you and I'm starting to get there. You're awfully quiet. Where's my little chatter box, huh?"

Neal's head snapped up suddenly with watery eyes.

"Why are -?"

Neal didn't get to finish the question he had been worrying about all day because El walked back into the room carrying the dessert. "Okay! Who's ready for some gelato?"

Neal clamped his mouth shut and awaited his piece to be sat on his plate, while Peter just stared at him.

"Neal, were you going to ask something?" The agent questioned as his wife scooped out his portion of dessert on his plate. The boy shook his head and filled his mouth with gelato, not paying any attention to the concerned look passing between his parents that no longer loved him.

"So El," Peter tried a different tactic, "what's the special occasion that requires you to make Neal's favorite dessert?"

Elizabeth caught on as she smiled around the fork in her mouth. She swallowed and wiped her mouth with her napkin. "Oh, there's no special reason...just that I think somebody could use a little cheering up and I was hoping this would do the trick."

Neal suddenly felt their eyes on him and froze. The big glob of gelato in his mouth suddenly felt like too much. _This is it, _he thought. _This is how they are going to tell me. Be nice to me and then tell me that I'm no longer the kid they wanted so the pain wouldn't be so bad. _Neal swallowed thickly as he glanced up to see Peter and Elizabeth staring at him with what appeared to be sympathy and pity. The little boy felt the walls closing in on his new found safe haven and his chest was starting to ache with the painful throbbing of his heart. After dropping his fork with a loud clatter, he jumped down from his seat and ran upstairs.

Both of the Burkes were startled by the sudden disappearance of their little boy and could only sit and stare at his empty chair. It was El who broke the silence with a stressful sigh as she buried her face in her hands.

Peter placed a hand on her arm. "Relax, El. I'll go talk to him, huh?" She waited a few seconds before nodding and raising her head up with tearful eyes. Peter felt his gut twist. "Oh, Honey. Don't be upset..."

"I can't help it. Not with everything that's happened. It's just been a roller coaster this week and now this."

Peter stood up and wrapped his arms around her as he leaned down. "Elizabeth, everything's fine. We will get through this. Just relax, read a book or take a bath, just don't worry about Neal."

"Peter..."

"Just _try_ not to worry about him, okay? Let me have a shot. I'll take care of him."

"I know you will. It's just after what happened this week I wanted...I want us to just be together."

"I know. We will, Honey. We will. I promise. Now go, do something relaxing. I'll clean up here and talk to Neal."

* * *

Peter knocked on Neal's strangely closed door before twisting the knob, which thankfully wasn't locked, and walked in. "Neal? It's time for bed ki...ddo." Peter stumbled in his sentence as he stopped in the doorframe of the little boy's room. Instead of Neal sitting in his floor playing with his toys like normal, the toddler was already in his bed curled up under the covers with the main light out and his nightlight plugged in. Peter sighed and walked over to the bed. He leaned over and turned the bedside lamp on. The toddler didn't move from his curled up position on the bed with his back towards the agent. In the luminance he could see the top of Neal's flannel pajamas covering the boy's shoulders. Peter sat down on the bed and gently turned Neal over on his back knowing the boy hadn't been asleep. He felt his heart ache at the sight of tear tracks staining the four year old's face and red, puffy blue eyes.

"Neal..." Peter sighed and pulled the boy from under the covers by the armpits and hugged him to his chest, not missing the feel of a nighttime diaper under the flannel onsie Neal put on. "please...please talk to me. Whatever it is...it doesn't matter. There's nothing you have to be scared about, ashamed of or...or embarrassed by."

"Ap-ap-appawently there is!" Neal squealed as he wiggled out of Peter's grasp and dove back under the covers. Peter's face twisted in confusion.

"What? Hey, buddy, come back out here and talk to me."

"No! I wanna go to s'eep! Go 'way!"

Peter let out a frustrated sigh. His wife had been right. It had been one hell of week, not that the little boy knew of course, but Peter just couldn't deal with another stressful occurrence.

"Not gonna happen, kid. You can go to sleep, but I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Peter countered kicking off his shoes and laying down and propping himself up against the headboard. He heard the toddler grunt, but other than that he laid there and watched his boy fall asleep on the bed as far away from him as he could.

* * *

An hour later...

Neal woke up in a different position and place than he had fallen asleep in. He cracked one eye opened and instead of being curled up underneath the covers of his bed where he was secluded, he was now sandwiched between Peter and Elizabeth in their bed. Comfort blanketed Neal's groggy mind, before two things struck him. One - his head was on Elizabeth's stomach and the idea of Peter and Elizabeth's 'perfect child' being in there made him upset. Two- he was laying in there bed and although he was four years old now, he did remember where babies come from and the one that _his parents _wanted was going to start from the very thing he was laying on. As soon as his mind wrapped around the two notions, he jerked away from her and immediately scrambled out of the bed, before either of the two could react.

* * *

Elizabeth and Peter laid in bed watching their little boy sleep between them. For comfort for herself, El had laid Neal's head on her stomach so she could feel closer to him while she softly tucked a curl of hair behind the boy's ear repeatedly. Peter just laid there and watched the two of them in the light of a bedside lamp. It was peaceful to both of them and comforting after the past week's whirlwind of emotions. Well, it was until suddenly Neal sat bolt upright and scrambled out of the bed before they even knew what was happening. It took them a few seconds for them to follow after him, but once they did they both thought that he was running to the bathroom down the hall to vomit. What other reason did the boy have to dart out so quickly?

They didn't find him in the bathroom. They found him sitting underneath his bed, legs drawn up to his chest, arms encircling them while his whole body shook with tremors, by the sound of small sniffles.

"Neal." Peter, though concerned, found his patience wearing thin.

"Go 'way!"

"No. Not until you tell us what's wrong."

"N-nothing! Jus'...jus' go 'way! P'ease!"

Elizabeth sighed and leaned down next to her husband to look under the bed. "Neal, baby-"

"Don't call me that!" He spat at her as he buried his face in his drawn up knees.

Peter and Elizabeth both shared a confused look.

"Is that what all this is about?" Neal froze at Peter's question, worried, yet relieved that maybe they had figured it out. "You don't feel like you have enough independence? That we treat you like...a baby?" Peter felt like he had it all figured it out now. The getting ready for bed on his own, not asking for anything, not being dependent. He felt relieved to know that it was nothing serious, like Kate's or Ellen's death affecting him. But when Neal looked up at him over his shivering arms he was punched in the gut and put right back to where he was started. One look at Neal's betrayed face told Peter he was definitely wrong. El knew it to.

"Neal. What's wrong? Please, just tell us and we will leave you alone. I promise. Talk to us."

Neal's lip trembled violently as water pooled in his big, blue eyes while he stared at them over the crook in his arm. "I'm- I'm...not good 'nough." He buried his face back into his arms and for a few seconds he was sure they had fulfilled Elizabeth's promise because he heard nothing but his own sobs. A part of him, a very small part was glad he was alone, but the other part, the very big part of him, wanted nothing more than to just go back to the way things were, when he was the only kid Peter and El needed, wanted. He wanted to go back to being good enough. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that when he opened his eyes again he was surprised to find himself sitting in Elizabeth's lap out from under the bed and hugged tightly to her chest. His jealous and betrayed mind told him to pull away, but his heavy, lonely heart wanted nothing more than to stay there forever. He whimpered and buried his face in her neck while his hands searched for something to cling to. They found the material of her shirt but it didn't satisfy him. He kept flailing his arm blindly until he felt El's soft hand grab his and tuck his arm back down between them, never letting go.

"No. No, no, no, no." She kept whispering to him between the kisses she gave his temple. They were rocking back and forth slightly in sync with Neal's hitching breaths while Peter sat beside them on the floor with a gentle hand on the toddler's wracking back. "Why..." Elizabeth stressed, "why would you think that, baby?" She felt Neal tense in her arms and one look at Peter confirmed it. It seemed to hit both of them like freight train.

She swallowed thickly as did her husband. With a wavering voice she asked again, "Neal, what makes you think that?"

"Y-you'we going to twy to...to weplace me." Neal turned his head deeper into El's neck. "I found it...when...when I was hiding from Satchymo in you'we bathwoom."

Neither one needed to ask what 'it' was, but if they had, they wouldn't have been able to. The air might have as well been sucked from the room.

"Uh..." Peter stammered, trying to find something to say, but ended up retracting his hand from the toddler's back, which proved to be the wrong move after Neal's sobs picked up again. Elizabeth glared at him and his hand was back on the boy's spine. "Neal...we're not going to replace you. We're...we're not even...trying." He looked to his wife for support but all he received was a gap of pure bewilderment with a hint of anger, even though the statement had Neal's face moving away from the comfort of his mother's neck.

"That's not the point." El stated, glaring at her husband. "But...even if...we were," she shook her head at the thought of discussing their sexual life with the little boy, "it wouldn't be to replace you or because you're not good enough for us anymore." Neal just stared at her with big, blue watery eyes that caused her heart to shatter when they would close owlishly with each sniffle from his little nose. She pulled his head back down under her chin to hug him close. "Neal... you'll never be just enough for us." She felt him flinch and quickly elaborated. " You'll always be more than enough. So, so much more than enough." She felt the child, _her child_, curl into her and for the first time all week she felt like a real mother.

The possibility of being pregnant had scared her. She didn't really want to have a child when their small family already felt complete. But when the multiple tests came back negative, a part of her did feel disappointed. So all week, her emotions went back and forth between being relieved and satisfied to disappointed and guilty.

But feeling her son bury himself in her arms out of comfort and love, she knew that no matter if she had children of her own, the one in her arms would always and forever be hers. Maybe not by blood, but by heart and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Mommy."

The word was shaky and said through a shuddering breath, but to Elizabeth it sounded better than angels, knowing exactly what her son meant by the word. She kissed his temple and resumed tucking a curl of his dark hair behind his ear.

"I love you, too, baby. I love you, too." She gave him one last kiss before Peter pulled them to his chest where they remained there as a family until the sun came up over the city bringing with it the next day filled with oppourtunites to make more memories.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you for all of your support! So happy that you are enjoying this! I was excited about this chapter but it didn't really turn out how I planned it to, so there may be a chapter on down the road that's similar.**

* * *

"Yeah, Jones. I'll be there as soon as I can." Peter said into his cellphone that rested between his shoulder and bent head as he belted his jeans. He gave a loud sigh and glanced at his watch. "Twenty minutes...ok. Fifteen. Bye." He straightened his neck and slid his phone into his back pocket, before walking over to his bed where Neal was jumping around.

"You're going to fall off and get hurt, Neal. And you know your mom will be up here whisking you off to the hospital before you even try to con your way out of it with puppy dog eyes. You want that?"

Neal had immediately ceased jumping and fell to his bottom on the bed with a dramatic bounce while giving the agent a cheeky grin.

"That's what I thought." Peter gave him a playful stern glance, before pulling a dark green t-shirt over his head. Neal wobbly stood up on the bed prompting Peter to reach out and steady him had his arms not been tangled in the material of his shirt. He did his best not to flinch as the boy's cold hands hit his bare stomach as they reached up for the hem of his shirt. He quickly poked his arms through the sleeves and let Neal help him pull it down quickly. "Alright, alright. All done." Peter assured for what was probably the fourth hundred time as his mind played out the memory of the very first.

* * *

"_Daddy?"_

_Peter stood at the foot of his bed preparing to put on his shirt when Neal suddenly sat straight up on the bed and stared at the agent's belly with wide eyes. The father dropped his shirt onto the bed while glancing between his son and the boy's line of sight. _

"_Yeah?"_

"_What's...what's that?" Peter flinched as small, cold fingers prodded his bare skin on his right side just below his ribs. The agent's hand immediately covered the scar on his stomach that had caught the boy's attention causing the small hand to retract quickly while big, blue questioning eyes stared up at him._

"_Oh...I got this about a year into the bureau. Some guy we were chasing pulled a knife on me after I had dropped my weapon in the scuffle we had. Got me pretty good. They had to remove my appendix, but you should've seen the other guy. Actually, you can because he's still in prison." Peter chuckled at the memory before turning his eyes to Neal who was now processing the story in a three and half year old's mind instead of as an adult. The only reaction he had gotten from the boy was his shirt being thrusted into his hands and once it was over his head, Neal's small hands quickly pulled it down to cover the scarred flesh. Peter realized Neal wouldn't have liked the story as a thirty year old ,let alone as a child, and the six nights that would soon follow would show Peter just how much Neal hated that story. Needless to say, by the end of the week Peter had made a large investment in nighttime diapers and extra bed sheets._

* * *

"Is that why Mommy doesn't want you to go to wowk today?" Neal asked while faintly motioning with his hand to Peter's right side. "Cause...she's afwaid you'll get 'nothew scaw?"

Peter shook his head as his son's quiet voice brought him out of the memory. He sighed, knowing that when Neal's voice was nothing but a whisper it was either because he was sleepy or scared, and slowly squatted down so he was eye level with the toddler. "What do you mean? She doesn't mind if I go to work today." The agent tried to assure.

"Then why does she keep...'_touching' _you evewy time you pass hew?"

Peter couldn't stop the snort of laughter that escaped him. "You don't miss anything, do you?" He watched Neal shake his head and smiled. "No, you don't. Listen kiddo, you know some days at the office are a little more...dangerous than most and today happens to be one of those days, but I promise you there's nothing to be worried about. Okay? What do I always tell you?"

But Neal didn't respond. Instead, Neal did the one thing Peter hated more than anything. He stared at him. He stared at him to silently tell him that he knew he was being lied to, to tell him he was hurt by it and to tell him that if Peter didn't come home he would never forgive him. And before Peter could do anything about it, Neal jumped off the bed and ran out of the room.

* * *

"Bye, Hon. Have...have a good day, please." Elizabeth said as she hugged her husband after sharing a kiss. She stepped back from the hug, cautiously placing her hand on the head of the boy hugging her leg as he hid behind her.

"I will, Hon." Peter replied looking her directly in the eyes before glancing down at the blue eyes peering around her leg. He ruffled the toddler's hair. "See ya later, bud."

He waited a few seconds for a response, but didn't receive anything but the stare he hated so much.

He turned to walk out the door and just before it closed he heard a faint, "See ya latew, daddy". Little did he know, he would replay that little whispered sentence over and over in his head all day.

* * *

His gut was never wrong.

He knew from the moment he woke up what would happen. He knew that his undercover operation wouldn't turn out right. And, although he didn't want to admit it, he knew that he deserved the stare he got from his son that morning.

Peter pulled against the restraints around his wrists as the man in front of him placed the barrel of a gun against his forehead. Fear trickled down his spine as the weapon was cocked, but not because of the gun itself or the man whose finger rested against the trigger. The fear running down his back and twisting in his stomach was spluttering from the fact that if he let this man take his life he would let down the most important person in the world.

"There's something you should know before you pull that trigger." Peter calmly stated as he moved his fingers slowly and quietly in a practiced motion around the lock of the restraints.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" The gunman asked as he pressed the gun harder against his forehead.

"I used to play baseball. Even played in the majors for a little while."

"So?"

Peter chuckled. "I always tell my little boy that every time I go undercover, it's like going up to bat. I swing for the fences and never strike out."

Peter felt the lock on the handcuffs give and came up swinging.

* * *

Neal remained behind the couch most of the day. He had quickly gathered his favorite toys behind the piece of furniture after Peter left and had since remained there half-heartedly playing just under the window. Elizabeth let him be knowing exactly what he was doing, partly because he did it every time Peter went under cover and partly because she too, looked out the window every time she heard the sound of a car going by.

"Neal, it's time for dinner." She said as she walked into the living room. Neal turned from where he was looking out the window and hugged Mario up to his face to cover his wobbly bottom lip. Elizabeth's heart had been cracking with each passing minute of the day, but seeing the same fearful expression on her little boy's face had it shattering in a second. Without saying a word, she grabbed their plates from the kitchen, walked back into the living room and sat down underneath the window.

Both mother and son, sat their picking at their food while waiting for Peter to return home.

* * *

The moon came up over the city casting its glow across the dark shadows of New York, but the luminance that would capture Neal's gaze in awe on any other night taunted him as he looked out the window. The boy silently kept cursing the light in the sky for coming up before Peter came home. It was easier than being angry at the agent or scared because he hadn't returned home. He felt another tremor wrack his frame and did his best to hide it, but when Elizabeth walked over and picked him up he knew he realized he had hidden them just about as well as he hid the shakes in hands after Kate's death from Peter. The thought made him shiver again.

"Okay, sweetie. That's enough." Elizabeth said referring to looking out the window. Neal wanted to protest, but didn't want to add to the stress Elizabeth was trying to hide from him all day so he just rested his head against her shoulder. She glanced at the clocked that read seven minutes past eight. "It's somebody's bedtime, huh?" She whispered as she jogged the boy up and down.

"I can't...not until..."

Elizabeth sighed and put her boy down. "Alright, go get your jacket upstairs. Hurry." She prompted as she nudge him in the direction of the steps.

* * *

They had been sitting on the front porch steps for almost half an hour mindlessly talking when a pair of headlights could be seen at the end of the street. Elizabeth wrapped her arm around Neal's shoulders as they waited for the car to get closer. The sound of the car slowing down had her heart pounding and when the car stopped in front of the house she managed to stand on shaky legs while pulling Neal against them after he stood up as well.

The car stopped in front of them was a licensed government vehicle, but it wasn't Peter's.

"Mommy..." She heard the small whimper beside her stress the fear she felt and felt the small boy's face bury into the side of her leg, but before she couldn't take her eyes off the passenger's door as it opened.

Her knees felt weak as her heart fluttered in her chest making her head spin. Her mind briefly tried to wrap around what she would do if anyone else except Peter stepped out of the car, but before she could even fathom the idea the sight of the passenger almost sent her to her knees.

"Oh...Honey!" She breathed with relief at the sight of her husband walking up to the porch. She blinked against the tears gathering in her eyes before detaching the toddler from her leg. "Baby, look. It's Daddy!"

Neal, slowly but surely, turned his head to peek at the man his mother assured her was his father. Once his fearful mind processed that the man kneeling down at the bottom of the porch steps with his arms outstretched was in fact Peter, the next thing he knew he was in his father's strong arms.

"Daddy."

Peter heard the whimper though it was muffled by his neck where the toddler face was buried. The agent ran a hand down the boy's back.

"Hey, kiddo. Easy. Didn't I tell you I would see you later? You don't think I would lie to you, do you?" Peter tried to chuckle as if he hadn't been worried about the same thing his wife and son had worried about all day.

Neal leaned back to look at him and shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes you do...to pwotect me orw when you twy to make me feel bettew."

This time the laugh that escaped Peter was genuine. "Well...as your father I'm allowed some leniency. But remember what I tell you every time I go undercover?"

Neal nodded and grinned.

"What do I tell you?"

"That going undewcovew is like going up to bat and you swing fow the fences and nevew stwike out." Neal answered matter-of-fact.

"And?"

"And you can't get cwedit fow a home wun if you nevew make it back to home plate." Neal answered while snaking his arms back around Peter's neck.

The agent smiled and hugged the boy closer before walking up the steps to meet his wife on the porch. He redistributed Neal's weight to one arm and wrapped his other around Elizabeth while giving her a kiss.

"The best part of hitting a home run is celebrating with your teammates after you make it back and I happen to have the very two best."

* * *

Later that night, after Peter has assured Elizabeth that he was fine and explained that he had just been so eager to get home one of the other agents drove him there instead of the office to get his car, the agent was laying in Neal's bed with the sleeping toddler on his chest despite the wet nighttime pull-up. It was then in the darkness of Neal's room and the security of being alone since the boy was asleep and Elizabeth was in that shower that he let the stress and fear of the day catch up to him and allowed tears to fall down his face in relief of being safe and sound with his family.

Suddenly Neal moved on his chest and he tried to blink away the unwanted water before he was caught, but when groggy, blue eyes blink at him he inwardly cursed the bright nightlight beside the bed.

"Daddy?"

Peter bit his top lip and tried his best not to sniff. "Hmm?"

Neal just stared at him for a few seconds and for a moment Peter thought he was safe when the boy laid back down on his chest, but when he felt a small hand wipe a stray tear off his cheek he knew he had been caught. However, he was surprised to find that he didn't care.

"Don't wowwy, Daddy." The small whisper assured him. "You hit a home wun today."

Peter took a deep breath and pulled his son closer to him. "I sure did, kiddo. I sure did."

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! **


	5. Chapter 5

**I am so sorry for how long you've had to wait for an update! But I like this story to stay unique and until my brain comes up with something I feel like you haven't read a million times in kid fic, I don't want to update. So I hope you like this chapter, it was originally for Dream A Little Me in You Dreams, but I ended up not finishing it and writing a Father's Day fic where all WC characters are their normal ages. **

* * *

"Breakfast is served, my little prince charming."

Elizabeth placed a plate of Mickey Mouse waffles down in front of her four year old boy, before setting down at the table across from him with breakfast of her own. She watched a smile spread across Neal's face, wiping away the last remnants of sleep.

"Waffles!" The boy exclaimed as he picked up his fork and dug in. The adoptive mother chuckled at her son's excitement. Picking up her mug of coffee, she sipped at it quietly marveling at the simple, yet heartwarming sight of the boy eating waffles. Elizabeth had never been a believer in perfection. Peter came the closest she ever thought possible, until Neal, adult or child, entered their lives, wormed into their family.

Her phone rang. Elizabeth sighed in response. "So much for perfection right?" She mumbled to herself. She wasn't surprised when Neal just kept sticking his hand in the syrup and giggling. She picked up her phone laying on the table and eyed her son warningly, before pushing the answer key. Neal bit his bottom lip and wiped his hand on his shirt. Elizabeth threw her hand up in disbelief. "That's not what that look meant!"

Neal stuffed his mouth with waffle.

"Hello? ...Oh, no, Renee, I was talking to Neal. Sorry...No, perhaps it was my doing. I put to much syrup on his plate so I guess he decided he would put it on his shirt." Elizabeth laughed as she listened to her assistant's response. "I know, I know. So, was there something you needed?...No, that's fine. We can pick the shipment up on Monday. Just finish up the invitations today and take the weekend off. Sunday is Father's Day, after all...Of course, you too! Bye."

* * *

Neal watched in wild amusement as the syrup strung between his fingers when he would pull them apart. He giggled around the waffle in his mouth, barely aware of Elizabeth's telephone conversation. That was until she said Father's Day.

Neal almost choked on the food in his mouth. He started coughing, but quickly managed to recover before his mom thought he was choking.

"You okay, sweetheart?"

Neal nodded and smiled weakly at her while picking his fork back up, but with no intention to eat anymore. Suddenly, he felt very sick.

He had not shared a Father's Day with the Burkes since he was reverted back to a child. To be honest, he had actually forgotten about the touchy holiday all together until the moment Elizabeth had spoken of it. What was he supposed to do? What was expected of him? Was he supposed to buy Peter a gift? He had no money! _But when did that ever stop you before? _He questioned to himself. He shook his head. He would figure something out.

He watched Elizabeth hang up her phone and lay it on the table. He cast his gaze back onto his own food a moment, pushing the bits of uneaten waffle around his plate with his fork while his mom ate hers.

"M-mommy?"

Neal silently, and oddly, cursed himself for the hesitation.

"Hmm?"

"What do I...what am I...how am I..."

Elizabeth chuckled and wiped at her mouth with a napkin. "One question at a time, baby."

Neal chewed on the tip of his thumb for second. "What do I get Petew fow Fathew's Day?"

* * *

Now it was Elizabeth's turn to choke. She coughed and recovered a lot quicker than Neal had. She took a sip of her coffee. "Well, Neal...you don't have to get him anything." She responded gently, but when Neal's face looked crestfallen she quickly added, "Unless you want to! I'm sure Peter would love it if you got him a gift." She expected it to help, but Neal's frown, though not as deep, still remained.

"But...what do I get?"

"Umm...well you could make him something?" She suggested. Neal raised an eyebrow. "What? I know for a fact Peter would love something made by you rather than anything you could buy." Neal still didn't let up. "Trust me, honey. Draw him a picture, or something."

"But I've dwawn so many befowe."

Elizabeth smiled and stood up from the table. "I know you'll think of something. Now come on, we have to get that syrup off of you."

* * *

Saturday, the day before Father's Day

Neal stood beside Elizabeth, one arm snaked around her leg, the other holding Mario, his polar bear, close in the other while they waited in line at the bank. He wasn't claustrophobic or anything, but now that he was 'smaller', the word he uses, big crowds or long lines of bigger people had a way of making him feel uncomfortable, again his word. He definitely wasn't scared.

A tall man walked up next to them in the other line. Neal hugged Elizabeth's leg tighter.

"It's alright, baby. We're up next and then we will be out of here before you know it, okay?"

Nope. He definitely wasn't scared.

* * *

Elizabeth kept her arm on Neal's shoulder while she made her deposit, not because she was afraid of what the little ex con would pull, but because she could feel his tiny fingers dig into her leg with each passing second. Both she and Peter knew about Neal's 'anxiety' in large crowds, but neither really brought it up much in front of the small boy, because they knew it would make his denial that much more stronger.

"Here's your receipt, ma'am, and a sucker for the little guy."

"Oh, thanks!" Elizabeth smiled and took the slip of paper and piece of candy. "Here you go, sweetie. Say thank you."

"Thank you." Neal whispered from behind Elizabeth's leg as he took the sucker in his hand. He stuck out his arm to wave, but the man beside them walked into it and the boy scrambled to get his arms back around El's leg faster than humanly possible.

"Okay, okay. It's alright. We're going. We're leaving." El encouraged as she picked him up and carried him out of the bank, his arms tight around her neck.

* * *

Neal sat in his car seat on the ride home from the bank, listening to his mom sing quietly along with the radio, something that she always did when Neal got 'uncomfortable' in public.

"Neal, did you eat your sucker?" Elizabeth questioned from the driver's seat. He fingered the piece of candy still in hand, intending to peel the wrapper off, but suddenly stopped. The sucker in his hand was green and to Neal it wasn't just a sucker. It was the best Father's Day gift he could ever get Peter.

* * *

Sunday, Father's Day

Peter woke up early for a Sunday morning, not because he was excited or anxious or anything, he just...woke up early. Glancing over at his wife's side of the bed expecting to see her beautiful sleeping self, he was surprised to find the bed empty.

A smile came to his face and he raced out of bed and down stairs like a kid on Christmas morning, but slowed down and came to stop at the bottom of the stairs, while listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen. Pots and pans clinging, the refrigerator door opening and closing and the most beautiful sound his ears had and would ever hear, his wife and son laughing.

A pain in his cheeks started to flare up from the grin on his face as he made his way into the kitchen. "Good morning, family."

"Morning, honey." El replied back as she motioned for him to sit at the table. She took three pancakes from the pan and placed them on a plate that Neal wobbly held between his little hands. She leaned down and whispered, "take those to daddy," then watched him trot over to the dinning room table and standing on his tip-toes, he sat the plate down in front of him and grinned.

"Bweakfast is sewved, daddy."

"Aw, thanks bud. This looks great! Did you help make this?"

Neal nodded eagerly and flashed his pearly white teeth. "Uh huh. Just fow you."

"Well, I guess I'm in for a real treat then, huh?" Peter cut a piece of pancake and chewed for a second with a pondering expression, before chewing dramatically. "Mmmm. These just might be the best pancakes I've ever had."

"Even bettew than the ones at Sea Wowld?"

Peter tilted his head to the side. "I don't know...those shark shaped pancakes were pretty awesome, but I bet if you help me put a little more syrup on these, I'd bet these will be even better. What do you say? Will you do the honors?" The agent held out the syrup bottle for dramatic and enticing effect, before the little boy nodded and was placed on his father's lap. He took the bottle and drowned Peter's pancakes.

Elizabeth walked over and leaned down to kiss Peter on the cheek before whispering, "Happy Father's Day, Hon."

Together, they ate sugary soaked pancakes.

* * *

After breakfast, Peter got ready on Elizabeth's instructions of shorts, t-shirts and sneakers before following of her next instruction of helping Neal.

He knocked on the door to the kid's room, before entering. "Neal? You ready to go?"

The little boy sat on his bed, picking at the hem of his shorts.

"Neal?"

Still nothing.

Peter sat down on the bed beside him. "What's the matter, kiddo?"

Neal just shrugged his shoulders, which prompted Peter to nudge him gently. "Come on. You know you can tell me anything."

The boy sighed before mumbling, "I got you a pwesent...you know fow...fow...Fathew's Day."

Peter bit his lip, trying to hide his smile knowing he needed to get the kid to lighten up first. "Well, where's it at?"

"Undew my bed."

"Well get it. I can't wait to see it."

"I...I'm not so suwe...you might...what if...what if you don't like it?"

Peter wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders. "It's from you, correct?"

Neal nodded. "Then I'm going to love it. Now, go get it."

The little boy slid off the bed and crawled under the said piece of furniture while elizabeth silently appeared in the doorway. Peter noticed her and shot her a questioning look about the gift, but she looked just as curious as he did with a shrug of her shoulders.

Neal wiggled out from under the bed a few seconds later, with a white piece of paper folded neatly down the middle and handed it to Peter. The agent wasn't surprised to see a hand made Father's Day card, one a little less precise and pristine as those he received from adult Neal when he was on the run, but exactly the same heart behind it.

Crayon crafted letters spelled a wobbly 'Happy Father's Day' on the front, but on the inside was where the real message was.

There on the inside of the folded piece of paper, no letters were written, no pictures were drawn. All that was there was a green sucker from the bank taped to the inside.

The agent stared at the object a few seconds before glancing down at the boy in front of him. Blue eyes, wide with awe, respect and just that hint of mischief that always kept Peter guessing looked up at him, just like the blue eyes that stared at him the first time he met Neal Caffrey face to face and received a green sucker from the bank from him.

"Do...do you like it?"

Peter looked back to the sucker, then back to Neal as he pulled it out of the card. He held it out in between them and twirled it in his fingers.

"You know I ate the first one you gave me?"

"You did? Y-you remember that?"

Peter nodded. "I ate it the day I finally...arrested you. You know why?"

Neal shook his head.

"It wasn't because I felt like I had beaten you at our game, or anything." Peter paused, relieving the memory in his head. "It was because I felt like I could finally enjoy it, because I knew...I knew I would see you again, that you wouldn't just vanish or fake your own death again. I knew that even though our little cat and mouse game was over...or so I thought...I just knew...life would be a lot different and...I was perfectly okay with it and ready for it, actually."

Neal blinked at him. "Oh."

"Yeah." The agent picked the little boy up and sat him on his hip.

Neal's arms snaked around the man's neck, before whispering, "Happy Father's day, daddy."

"Thanks, buddy." Peter replied, hugging the small boy close to him.

"And for your last, but not least present, I thought we could all go out to the park for some baseball." Elizabeth called from the doorway.

Peter grinned widely at that and jogged Neal on his hip. "What do you say, kid? You up for some baseball?"

Neal nodded and wiggled to get down. The agent let him go and watched him race out of the room. Elizabeth looked at him. "Ready?"

Peter looked at his card one more time, then at the sucker. A few seconds passed, before he tore off the wrapper and put the sucker in his mouth.

Around the piece of candy, he responded, "More than ever."

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading and sticking with me. Let me know what you think! **


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